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What do you think? Is this an average day in the Life of Joe Republican?
Joe gets up at 6 am and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that they work as advertised.
All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer’s medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance – now Joe gets it too.
He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe’s bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.
In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.
Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to stop industries from polluting our air.
He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.
Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe’s employer pays these standards because Joe’s employer doesn’t want his employees to call the union.
If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he’ll get a worker compensation or unemploy ment check because some stupid liberal didn’t think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.
It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Joe’s deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Joe’s money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.
Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.
Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety st andards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.
He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers’ Home Administration because bankers didn’t want to make rural loans.
The house didn’t have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn’t belong and demanded rural electrification.
He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe wouldn’t have to.
Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn’t mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: “We don’t need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I’m a self -made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have”.
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26 Responses to Have you heard about Joe the Republican’s day?
daniel m
March 10th, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Joe the Dumbass
fabio z
March 10th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
VOTE for Obama>Obama>Obama>Obama>Obama>Obama>Obama>Obama>
FrinkZoe
March 10th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
I generally hate rants, but this was pretty good.
Contessa O
March 10th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Nice. Great job.
thumbs down for me
March 10th, 2010 at 3:19 pm
I can see why he forgets to pay taxes and child support. He is too busy hating liberals who care for his well being.
The Dot And The Line
March 10th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
I get annoyed when both Liberals and Conservatives post stupid rants
ORB
March 10th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
what about JOE mama
Chris K
March 10th, 2010 at 4:36 pm
I’d say you have good understanding of how it works.
Obama Biden 2008-2016
hesjim57
March 10th, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Wow, thanks for the history lesson. I didn’t know the liberals can take the credit for everything good in this country! What an eye opener!
CAN YOU SAY BRAIN-WASHED?
IndianaJohn
March 10th, 2010 at 5:52 pm
excellent work.
about time someone showed what Democrats and liberals have done for our country.
mamanook
March 10th, 2010 at 6:40 pm
WOW! Awesome!
Reh Nahe m
March 10th, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Good. Very good, my freind.
janet a
March 10th, 2010 at 7:41 pm
I usually skip over long questions because they are usually “preachy” or outright lies.
However, your post is great — and so true. My husband and I have said Joe the Plumber does not have enough sense to realize how much better off he’d be with Obama as President.
Hope a few “Joe the Republicans” will read your question and comments. Thanks again — a lot of thought went into that.
Matt Y
March 10th, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Wow, you summed it up perfectly!
Funny thing is, people will still bash you for writing this, they’ll make unintelligent false claims about Obama, and continue their hate-filled rants.
I wish everyone could read this, thank you!
bloodbath
March 10th, 2010 at 8:40 pm
Hurrah for you.
You have described them accurately.
It could not be said any better than you did.
Legion
March 10th, 2010 at 9:27 pm
There are no self-made men nor women. Joe wants the comforts of society without the costs.
He’ll keep all of his tax money, and when he sees he won’t be able to afford clean water, air, food, nor decent streets/housing or electricity, he’ll be the first in line screaming for some gubmint cheese.
It’s admirable to think that those who’ve done a good job of maximizing they’re opportunities get to reap the rewards, but it’s arrogant and misguided to think that those opportunities come cheap or are self-made.
We'll all be victims
March 10th, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Laquisha the Democrat………Laguisha get up in the morning on monday about 11am from her partying with another guy who most likely will produce her 5th pregancy. She’s only 26 and is excited to make that final lay-a-way payment at Walmart for that wide screen TV with her spread the wealth around check she expects from Obama. She knows this is fact because her Bamaman himself said so to some hard working guy in Ohio who ( buy your own words ) busts his a.ss to support his family and is now told he has to spread some of that to the Laguisha’s of the country.
After some breakfast around 12 noon, she grabs the 4 kids and piles them into her 1978 primer paint spotted, smoke stained windows with dirty baby diampers and McDonalds trash piled on the floor of her Bonneville with shiny new spinner wheels and a $5000 thumper sound system in a $500 piece of chit car.
She comes back with new widescreen tied to the top of her welfare version of a limo and soon realizes she has no wall big enough to place it as section 8 housing offers no room big enough for it.
Oh well she says, my man Bama will give me another $500 on the backs of some other educated hard working American guy named Joe so I can go next year and buy smaller leopard print furniture to make room for that new wide screen. In the meantime, I’ll just toss it on some boxes and hook the dish up with the money i saved. Jerome………I’ll change your diaper later, the toilet is already full.
Edward E
March 10th, 2010 at 10:45 pm
Joe should have his birthday a government approved holiday. He has done more for America than Martain Luther King. Maybe we should drop King and replace him with Joe.
Hail Joe king or the wild frontier.
The Naked Truth
March 10th, 2010 at 11:34 pm
Awesome
Viva Liberty! [atheist 4 mccain]
March 11th, 2010 at 12:01 am
I appreciate this. I’m one of those “damned hateful cons”, but I’m not so stupid as to not understand the value of another group. This undermines and misunderstands the Conservative movement, btw
but I see what this is getting at and I like it.
Lisa
March 11th, 2010 at 12:33 am
That was Golden
JessPat
March 11th, 2010 at 12:56 am
You are entitled to be as delusional as you choose although I’m not buying.
Negotation and by that I mean the pork barreling: giving this to get that is how funds and benefits are disbursed.
To consider each measure on it’s own merit would stop all this foolishness. It would simplify and expose who is voting for what.
Obama is against stopping the pork.
Jacquot
March 11th, 2010 at 1:03 am
Bingo
itsaGuy
March 11th, 2010 at 1:47 am
Yes, Joe gets to enjoy all these tax payer paid benefits, because the liberals got them all passed, so everyone gets to pay and take part of the system. Also, now that everyone is paying taxes for these benefits that liberals passed, Joe’s business can’t afford to pay him as much as they would like so he could buy a house on his own without Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac.
Joe also gets the benefits of the liberal led efforts to create infrastructure and safe environments, but that’s not really a liberal base. Even moderate conservatives are for those improvements.
Joe’s father however, isn’t doing very well on Social Security because it doesn’t pay enough or keep up with inflation, and could have instead taken that money and invested it himself, so that tax-payers wouldn’t have to.
And now, the economy is drying up, so guess what’s going to go first? All those benefits that liberals made to make life easier are going to dry up and those who relied on them will cry entitlement to a system that can no longer afford to give benefits to all, because no one will no longer be able to pay for it.
Why are jobs being outsourced? Because it’s cheaper. Why do businesses have production done out of country? Because it’s cheaper. Why’s it cheaper? Taxes, artificially high wages, and Free Trade Agreements.
Yes, thank you to dissenting opinion of big businesses to improve the quality of life for those of the non-rich. The efforts are needed. But whenever one side gets their way completely, the taxing scale tips too far in one direction.
Joe the conservative pays outrages taxes and gets the same benefits that Jim the Poor Guy gets without paying for at all. Get Jack the Rich to pay his fair share of taxes and encourage him to keep his business here, get the government off Joe’s back and let him save some damn money, and encourage Jim to make more for his life [maybe Jack could hire him in his new in-country business.]
How? Get rid of a two-party system. It’s a false dichotomy with choices on the extremes who market to the middle, or the middle who market to extremes. Instead, open up the system to allow more than two choices so you can better choose someone who represents more than one or two of your political agenda goals. Don’t stick with the term Liberal or Conservative.
As you can see, labeling yourself as one or the other gives you less credibility than voicing your opinion to a subject matter.
I digress, the point of this post is: Yes, liberals did thing that conservatives benefit from. Some of them are good. All of them are at a cost. Many are unsustainable. Conservatives, while they may not be motivated by greed, make decisions that look like so. Public needs should be met, but at what point is a persons life not a public need?
Darwinall
March 11th, 2010 at 2:19 am
Yes, I enjoyed that. Thanks for the effort.
green6es
March 11th, 2010 at 2:45 am
The people who are always screaming about Democrats, and their pork barrel spending are too naive to realize that there is just as much pork barrel spending done by the Republicans. It’s a common belief that Democrats do the most of the wasteful spending, but I’ve read unbiased articles, and have seen an unbiased documentary, that proved both are equally guilty. But people are too willing to except “facts” without question, so this pork barrel myth won’t die without a fight.